Top 30 Random Playlist: {10/02/16}

randommusic1

  1. Wamintirile – Alternosfera
  2. Wake Me Up – Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc
  3. Selfie – The Chainsmokers
  4. Revolver – David Guetta ft. Madonna
  5. Pure Love – Arash ft. Helena
  6. Monsoon – Tokio Hotel
  7. Trumpets – Jason Derulo
  8. Don’t Bother – Shakira
  9. Rock Steady – All Saints
  10. Run to You – Clarence Coffee Jr
  11. Burn – Three Days Grace
  12. White Boy Wasted – Jamie Drastik
  13. Hurricane – 30 Seconds to Mars
  14. You Belong with Me – Taylor Swift
  15. Get Up – Ciara
  16. Firestarter – The Prodigy
  17. Brother Louie – Modern Talking
  18. Along Comes Mary – The Bloodhound Gang
  19. Fresh Fruit – Tiesto
  20. Move Along – All American Rejects
  21. Going Under – Evanescene
  22. Wo Bist Du – Rammstein
  23. Feel Again – OneRepublic
  24. Only Girl – Rihanna
  25. As Long as You Love Me – Justin Bieber
  26. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
  27. On My Mind – Ellie Goulding
  28. Right Now – Korn
  29. Round and Round – Suga Babes
  30. Victims of Love  – Good Charlotte

Bad Mama: I Lost My Child

I feel I should be reprimanded in some way, and really feel it. I hate myself for the fucking fail that was me.

I think for me, this was {so far} the biggest parenting fail. For a good 10 minutes on Sunday, I had no idea where my son was.

We went out to a Spur close to our home so Monster could have some fun {and burn some energy}.

We’ve been to that Spur so many times, so I know which table to choose so I can cover the entrance in case he decided to mission. What I didn’t know is that there is an upstairs gaming area. He has never gone there before so yes, I was in a panic when I couldn’t find him at the playground,

This time around, we weren’t able to sit where we usually sit so we were seated next to a window, overlooking the playground. I could keep an eye on him all the timPicsArt_02-08-01.19.40e from there however I wouldn’t be able to see him if he decided to head for the front door.

When we were ready to leave, Byren went to fetch him, but as I stood watching from the inside, I could see the panic spread across his face. He returned saying that he couldn’t find Monster anywhere. I went outside and searched and searched. I looked everywhere. I screamed his name hoping it would reach the top of the towers.
The more I screamed, the more panic I could feel settling in. I started playing out scenarios in my head of what could have happened to him. My darkest fears coming to life in my mind. I should have been more vigilant and because I let him out of my sight for five minutes, he’s missing.

This is a panic that parents, and only parents, can truly understand. Your child being abducted. Your child being snatched away. And it being your fucking fault. Because you took a moment to relax and take a breather.

As I stumbled around, I saw one of the managers and stammered out these words, “Lost. Boy. Blue clothes. Help.”

That’s all I could get out of my system through the tears running down. Immediately he asked necessary questions to help him identify Monster’s appearance and started looking around the playground. I headed in the opposite direction, searching again, hoping Monster would pop out from behind one of the jungle gyms, ending the chaos fucking up my life.
I reached one of the playground supervisors and relayed the information to her and she joined in the search.

At the same time, Byren was keeping watch over Gremlin inside and had notified another manager for a search.

As I walking back to the entrance to enter the restaurant, the manager I first spoke to stopped me and asked if I had checked the gaming room upstairs. I ran up the stairs behind him, hoping to see a little blond boy within the crowd.
There he was, playing a game and giggling his head off at the results. I took a moment to release tears of relief as I took in the situation around me.

He was safe.
He was fucking safe. I tried to keep my anxiety in place as I walked towards him, picked him up and just held him to me. He was of course oblivious to what had just happened. I bet he was thinking how bad I was for interrupting his game.

On our way home, the after-shock kicked in. I sat in the car, crying. I couldn’t stop the tears. Even though he was safe, the what-ifs didn’t just disappear.

It takes a split second for something to happen. Letting your guard down for a few seconds can cost you, with deep consequences. Some so life changing that there is no going back to normal.

I don’t want to be overly protective over my kids but in the world we live in, it feels like it’s the only choice I have.

***
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Post Wrap-Up | January 2016

month in review

  1. Greeting the New Year
    Hello 2016
  2. When the holidays get a little too much
    Cabin Fever
  3. Blog prompts for the year ahead
    Fixed Inspiration – 52 Weeks of Writing
  4. 15 Books to read in 2016
    15 Books for 2016 {Nov Deadline}
  5. First tunes of the year
    Top 30 Random Playlist {06/01/16}
  6. Refreshing home-made juice recipe
    Kompot – Russian Fruit Juice
  7. Find Anniemation Floe on other platforms
    Find Anniemation Floe at
  8. Standing up for young moms
    Young Moms Have Balls 
  9. Some useless questions I answered
    20 Mostly Useless Questions about Me
  10. Newest letter to the Gremlin
    Baby Babbles | 7 months 
  11. New list of tunes
    Top 30 Random Playlist {13/01/16} 
  12.  Blog series – Lauren
    Gender Switch – Lauren 
  13. More useless questions I answered
    20 {More} Useless Questions about Me 
  14. Fresh tunes of the week
    Top 30 Random Playlist {20/01/16} 
  15. Review of The Flash
    Review: The Flash Series
  16. Blog Series – Jaco
    Gender Switch – Jaco 
  17. Last set of useless questions about me
    20 {Extra} Mostly Useless Questions about Me 
  18. Blog Series – Alberto
    Gender Switch – Alberto

My Music Moods | January 2016

MiniMusicalMoods

  1. Reality –  Lost Frequencies ft. Janieck Devy
  2. Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood
  3. Revolution – Diplo ft. Faustix & Imanos and Kai
  4. Rage the Night Away – Steve Aoki ft. Flocka Flame
  5. Talking Body – Tove Lo
  6. Hey Ho – Gin Wigmore
  7. On My Mind – Ellie Goulding
  8. Bad Blood – Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar
  9. See You Again – Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth
  10. The Hills -The Weeknd
  11. Drag Me Down – One Direction
  12. Game On – Waka Flocka Flame ft. Good Charlotte
  13. Bleeding Out – Imagine Dragons
  14. Irresistible – Fall Out Boy
  15. Elastic Heart – Sia