VJ Delivery vs. C-Section Delivery

hqdefault“Save the beaver, have a (sic) Caesar” is one of those inflammatory slogans tossed around about childbirth, along with ‘You’re not a real mother unless you’ve had natural birth’.  ~ From Parents24.co.za

Have you heard this saying before? Well, I haven’t and I have a child already. I think I need to spend more time on the Internet and read more articles.

My experience with childbirth the first time was traumatic.

I won’t lie. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t pleasant. It wasn’t a fairytale that was written in the stars. Having nearly lost Chase if the process had taken any longer, our stress levels were through the roof. 12 hours of constant worry, I thought I’d pass on another take on labour.

Here’s the thing, just because my vaginal birth {let’s call an apple an apple here} was traumatic and a little horrifying, it’s not the same for everyone. There are loads of ladies out there who had amazing worry-free experiences. In my case, there were a few complications and it had been too late to do an emergency Cesarean.

This time around, because of all the complications, my Doctor suggested a Cesarean to be on the safe side. I could do another vaginal delivery but that’s only if Ehren doesn’t weigh too much. Chase was a mere 2.88kg and we had too much trouble. So if Ehren is weighs less than that, then yes, we could do a vaginal delivery but how baby grows is up to him and can’t be predicted.

Now back to the quote above. A lot of women have a fear of having a vaginal delivery because they worry about the remaining damage below. It’s a little worrying yes, since it’s your body and with all the changes it has gone through you wish there’s something that could be saved. I honestly only thought about it a few days after the delivery. That’s when it hit me and I sat crying in the bath because I was worried about the damage and how Byren wouldn’t look at me the same again. I think a lot of women forget that your VJ stretches during intercourse so you don’t get hurt so naturally after birth, that’s exactly what happens. As it stretched, so it will ‘snap’ back to its old size. Women worry so much about the size down there, they don’t stop to think about vaginismus. Ever heard of this term? No? Here’s a brief explanation “…result of an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual intercourse—painful or impossible.”. I’ve attached the link if you need to read more on the condition.

So there are women out there who complain about the tightness of their VJ’s because they can’t participate in normal activities, even going for gynie check-ups is painful.

Now the stigma of “If you don’t do a vaginal delivery, you’re not really a mother.” That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. There are women out there that judge other women who haven’t had a vaginal delivery. It’s completely unnecessary and retarded {excuse my language}. There are women that cannot have vaginal deliveries due to complications and safety hazards. That doesn’t make you less of a women and definitely doesn’t mean you’re not a mother. Women who haven’t had a Cesarean don’t understand the stress that goes into the process. They see it as an easy way out, a quick fix away from nature. It’s not.

I’m terrified of the procedure. More terrified than I was with the vaginal delivery. It feels like I’m going in for an operation, which it is sort of. There are still things that can go wrong, even though some say it’s the quicker and easier option. If I could, I would do a vaginal delivery again but I can’t. I don’t want to endanger Ehren’s life, as well as my own {there was a stage during Chase’s birth where the Doctor told Byren it might turn into a choosing who lives situation}.

What happened to the part where we as women stand in support of each other? Why are we bringing each other down instead of showing our support for each other’s choices? Who says that having a vaginal delivery is the right type of delivery? Who says that having a Cesarean is the right way? Surely it’s everyone’s personal choice and someone else’s choice has no effect on another’s life.

We should stand together. There are enough other forces in this world that divide people. This shouldn’t be one of them.

My Top 20: March 2015

PicsArt_14271938478851. Elastic Heart – Sia

2. Sugar – Maroon 5

3. Summer – Calvin Harris

4. Haunted – Beyonce

5. Hit and Run – Lana del Rey

6. Who We Are – Imagine Dragons

7. Whispering – Alex Clare

8. Save Me – Morandi

9. Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Lorde

10. I’m not the Only One – Sam Smith

11. I Know You – Skylar Grey

12. Earned It – The Weeknd

13. Love Me like You Do – Ellie Goulding

14. Take Me to Church – Hozier

15. Addicted to You – Avicii

16. Beating Heart – Ellie Goulding

17. Habits – Tove Lo

18. Centuries – Fall Out Boy

19. Locked out of Heaven – Bruno Mars

20. Love Me Again – John Newman

30 Things: 10 Pet Peeves


1. Noisy eaters
2. People that wear socks with sandals or flip flops
3. Unexpected company
4. Drivers who tailgate
5. Skinny jeans on men
6. People that cancel on plans at the very last minute
7. Clipping toenails in the car or the bed
8. Mispronunciation of words
9. Men who talk down to women
10. Unsolicited advice

Benefits of: Oranges

orange-king-of-fruits> Helps prevents cancer

> Prevents kidney diseases

> Lowers cholesterol

> Boosts heart health

> Fights against viral infections

> Relieves constipation

> Helps creates good vision

> Regulates high blood pressure

> Alkalize body

> Protects skin

> Provides smart carbs


Pink Eye Fun

PicsArt_1427359076660Well, not really fun…

Pink eye isn’t awesome, of course. Highly contagious and looks painful – so yes, far from fun.

Last night I noticed that Chase’s eye was a little red and there was a little puss coming out of his eye. There was an ‘epidemic’ at school last week where pink eye was circling around and we had had to just keep our kiddies under observation.

I cleaned his eye up with some rooibos tea and cotton wool to remove the puss. Puss is usually a sign of infection so that much was clear. This morning when he woke up, his eye was very red and pretty swollen so we decided to take him to the Doctor.

So yes, he has been diagnosed with pink eye and since it’s highly contagious, he’ll need to stay at home for at least two days before the symptoms start disappearing. The problem is we couldn’t get his prescription from any pharmacy. Most of the pharmacy’s in our area seem to be sold out of the eye medication that we need to use. Eventually we found it after a half an hour drive, and it was the last bottle on the shelf.

There’s a huge epidemic going around with eye infections so pharmacies are running low on the supply and demand of the medication.

So now we’re at home, and Chase is his usual busy self. Amazing how kids have the ability to still function with ease whilst being sick. I wish us grown ups had such drive..

#CutForZayn trend – WTF???

19-zayn-malik.w529.h529.2xHave you seen this hashtag on Twitter??

It took me a double take and spilling my hot tea all over my lap to realise that this is real.. It first came to my attention while I was browsing on Facebook and a link from Parents24 caught my attention with the headline – “‘Cut for Zayn’ suicide watch”. Something I don’t do is follow the news about  boy bands and fans losing their heads over them, but I clicked on the link to read the article.

Zayn Malik has decided to leave the band after five years because he wants to start living his life OUTSIDE of the spotlight. He wants to live a normal life for himself. I reread his statement about his reasons for leaving and they seem pretty legit to me. Everyone is entitled to happiness; even if it takes leaving a famous band to draw into life as a nobody.

I proceeded reading the comments on the link and I really don’t think people are seeing the severity of the problem. Everyone is going on about Zayn leaving the band and how selfish it is of him to disappoint his fans. Is anyone even concentrating on the fact that self-harming is now bein promoted to the children and young adults? Does anyone realise how sick it is to distribute the message that cutting yourself because of a band member leaving is fine?

Do these people not understand that Zayn doesn’t know them personally to care, and even if he does care, that this will in no way affect his life? These kids are bringing harm upon themselves. Don’t they realise the dangers of this act? Do they not understand that suicide is NOT a joke?? What do you prove to anyone by cutting yourself other than the fact that you are stupid?

As an ex-self-harmer, I know that this is no joke. There is no clear motive or reasoning to be doing it. There are just silly little kids who are ‘mourning’ his leaving the band {Yes, that’s what some of them named it} and hurting themselves to prove a point to no one.

Remember a while back there was a trend going around for Justin Bieber #CutforBieber after there were photos leaking of him smoking marijuana. Now apparently that was an internet hoax that went around, trying to encourage his fans to start cutting. So yes, he did actually smoke the pot and yes, people fell for the whole hoax.

I don’t understand how people just lose their minds over these celebrities. Do they realise that they don’t even know who you are, that you even exist? You’re just someone that helps make them rich and keep them famous. They don’t care if you’re failing at school, coming out of a relationship, having problems in your home. They honestly don’t care. Then why do you care enough to harm yourself for them and think your life is now over when they are just living theirs?

Talk with Toddler: 32 Months


My dear Chase,

I haven’t written to you in a very long time, which I’m really sorry about. This is something I wanted to do that is special for you, but I haven’t really been living up to the standards I’ve set myself.

You’ve been at your new school for over a month now and you’re like a different little human. Not only have you climbed out of your shell, but you’ve left your shell behind. You’ve started dancing and singing for us. You’ve been having fewer tantrums {I’m letting the ones you still have fall under the Terrible Twos category} and our bedtime routine feels like a breeze {almost} each evening. Your vocabulary? Doubled! From the amount of words you were saying at the beginning of the year compared to today? I wonder where you were storing all this information! I think Dadda and I have already had a few days where we wondered what silence sounds like..

Of course, we don’t mean it in a bad way. We want you to talk as much as you can and want to. I think it’s just difficult for us to somehow explain to you that as grown up’s, we have long and tiring days at work and sometimes it’s nice to come home to peace and quiet. It’s not a bad thing, and as I guilty as I feel sometimes with feeling as such, I know you’ll understand when you go through these stages with your own family. {A lot of years from now, luckily. I can’t think of you as an adult yet!}

Ehren will be joining our family on the 12th of June. It’s scary that now that we have a date, there’s more reality that settles over my heart.

I worry. I worry about how you will react to having a baby in our home, and Mama having to split the attention between the two of you. I worry that I won’t give you enough attention, as much attention as I can handle at the times available. I worry that you will think I’m putting you second best to Ehren. My angel, I would never do that. Things will be a little different with having a little one in our home. Mama will have to give Ehren a little closer attention since he’s a tiny bundle that can’t look after himself yet. You, on the hand, are already a big boy. You’re able to do a lot of things without Mama’s help {and sometimes with my help, depending on the patience span I have at that moment}.

Chase, do you know what the best news is? You can help Mama with Ehren. You can help bringing Mama things she needs and help with cleaning up with Mama if messes are made. At the same time, you can help Mama by packing your own toys away when done with them. Mama would appreciate that so much. You will be giving me a little less to worry about with having two young boys in our house.

Everyone’s equal effort will make the difference :)

My dearest monster. I love you so much. No matter how bad my day can be, or how tired I feel, you are always able to lift my mood up with a kiss or a hug. Even a smile does the trick with you.

Never lose the sparkle in your eyes.

Love you always,

Your Mama xx